I was experiencing acid reflux at that time & my doctor at a number of prior visits told me that my problem could be addressed by losing a little bit of my extra weight. My oldest daughter was about one at the time & I could not imagine her losing her dad when she was thirteen because he couldn't push away from the dinner table.
I assumed a pretty strict diet & in about six months lost about sixty-five pounds. (The reflux went away by the way!)
The funny thing about my situation was that I would have told you that I was healthy, but chubby. The exact phrase that I would often use was "healthily overweight." I rationalized that I could run up & down the basketball court with high school boys, carry out household chores, & do just about anything without any problem. I may have been chubby, but I was "fit & capable."
As I look at photographs of myself from the days before my weight loss, I'm stunned to see how bad of shape I was in. I was not in a good place.
I developed a routine.
I had become lazy.
I had set the cruise control.
I had settled for less.
I'm not entering any triathlons these days, but I am in much better shape.
I share all of this because I've found that if I'm not careful, I can have a very similar tendency in my ministry.
It's very easy to develop routines, become lazy, set the cruise control, & settle for less than what could/should be. Not only is it very easy to wind the clock & step back & watch it work, I've found that, for the most part, other people (parents, volunteers, staff, etc.) are often happy when you do. Routine is predictable. Most of us think that predictable things are, by in large, safe. The truth is that routine & predictability is a step away from death. (If you don't believe me, say the exact same things in the exact same way to your wife/husband every day. Let me know how that predictable pattern works for you!)
My predictable habits in life caused me to get to a very unhealthy place physically. It was a severe shock to the status quo that moved me from unhealthy to healthy & I think the same is true when it comes to ministry. I'm all for setting up rhythm in ministry, but I think that sometimes the rhythm can become the point or at the very least allow us to disengage our brain from thinking about what would best help us as we strive to make disciples.
The problem is we get into a pattern (I would argue a rut) & assume that because that approach/pattern worked last year it surely will next year...& the next...and so on & so on. (This is precisely how it worked with my weight. I didn't start eating more. I ate the same, but my body reacted differently. Something about metabolism slowing down. Maybe you can relate.)
When was the last time you stepped back & took an objective look at what you're doing? (I hope you've thought about it.) Where you're heading personally with God? (Regardless what you do, this will have greater impact on those you're leading.) Who you're becoming? (This is the best predictor of the outcome of those whom you disciple.)
My fear is that we don't step back, that we don't do an honest evaluation, that we don't invite others who will be brutally honest as they survey our ministries. What's worse is that we don't even think to do it, or that we rationalize it.
As bad as it may be, we need to take a long hard look in the mirror & brace ourselves to face the truth of our reflection. It's only when we face our reflection & evaluate it honestly that we have any shot at improving. It's more comfortable to rationalize, but it's definitely not safer.
I'm very interested in reading your feedback on this, what you've done to help yourself look into the mirror & be honest with yourself. Hopefully, we can equip & challenge each other to honestly evaluate ourselves & our ministries as we go forward from here.
